Title: "Lots to Learn"
Author: jlr ( jlr at babealicious.net )
Series: Treksmut University
Disclaimers: Paramount owns any trek characters I happen to mention, I'm not quite sure who owns TSU but they must be pretty freakin' cool, Agincourt owns Laura (and how! hope you don't mind me borrowing her), and I own myself and this little vignette. No offense is intended to any real-life people who appear in this story--quite the opposite :)
Author's Note: This is the twisted product of slogging (or was that snogging?) my way through the reams (uh, yeah) of TSU posts lovingly complied by Robin, so don't blame me, blame yourselves for convincing me to enroll! Believe it or not, I wrote this when I was procrastinating from writing a paper for school that I still hadn't finished despite the fact that finals ended nearly 3 weeks ago (the irony of this will become clear as you read further) but now I'm DONE hahahahahaha. And this is my first actual story-ish post, so be kind (that J/7 *is* on the way...someday).
In case it isn't clear, everyone in this story who isn't Laura or a Trek character is a "real" person.
With no further ado...
The SCENE: The whirlwind week of freshperson orientation is over
(you don't even want to know...), and the hard work has begun!
The class of ?? (we are in a trans-dimensional interchange [or
something like that] after all) is settling into their schedules, which
all include the required course known as Writing 101: Foundations
of TrekSmut. Fortunately for this class, the course is being taught
this session by the legendary Prof. Robin Lawrie. It's halfway
through the semester, but some students are still adjusting to the
rigors and demands
ms. russo's anatomically correct Janeway alarm went of at 8:30am sharp, and the sounds of orgasmic moaning filled the room. Her answering moan was decidedly un-orgasmic, and she didn't even open her eyes as she rolled over heavily and groped for Janeway's breast to shut it off. She was about to roll back over and return to unconsciousness when a chipper voice wafted in from the next room.
"julie, don't go back to sleep! Remember what Professor Lawrie said the last time we were late for class..."
Her suitemate, Laura [ah, TSU, where even a lowly freshperson is guaranteed a single--necessary to the learning process, y'know]. Gods, she hated morning people. ms. russo opened one bleary eye to peer at the clock dial, which Janeway was holding in a strategic position, and then dragged herself out of bed and toward the shared bathroom. She really had to pee.
"Hey Laura," she called hoarsely through the door, "I don't know what was in the caffeine cocktail Dean Greywolf was giving out in the student lounge yesterday, but it really packed a wollop."
"Did you get your work done?"
"No, I was too wired to concentrate. I kept jumping up to play with the action figures. And then at about 4 am, my keyboard started malfunctioning. I just gave up and went to bed."
"julie! Aren't you afraid Prof. Lawrie is going to kill you!? Or at least severely lacerate you!?"
"Well, I figure she'll understand. I mean I'm just trying to do my best work. I really want my piece to be perfect, really hot, but intelligent too, you know? This is one of the professor's fields and everything..." She was in the shower now. Laura's head appeared from behind the curtain.
"Mind if I join you?--we're running late."
ms. russo nodded. The shower was very large.
"Did you finish your P/Q?"
"Yeah, I finished it yesterday. Then I took it to the Feedback Center and had one of the seniors proofread it for me."
"goddamn-music-major-goody-two-shoes" ms. russo mumbled under her breath.
"Hey, I heard that! I have to take the same core curriculum as you, you know."
"What did you have to do in return for the beta reading?"
"Oh, I'm his sub for the BDSM festival tomorrow. Hey, it's going to suck for you to be working on that assignment this weekend when everyone else is out partying."
"I don't know, Laur, I've never tried that stuff before."
"That's why you're here isn't it, to expand your mind and everything. Don't you want to get the most out of your education? You're going to have to take Intro to BDSM next semester anyway..."
They climbed out of the shower and started getting dressed.
"Laura," ms. russo was yelling through the wall again, "do they need a violist in the pit orchestra for 'Mistress Janeway'? I *really* want to be in that."
"I think so. I'll ask Professor Agincourt for you."
"Is he really as sexually compelling as they say?" then she glanced at the clock. "Shit! We have to go, now!"
They grabbed their backpacks and hurried out the door, to the sound of ms. russo muttering "Why do they have to schedule all the fucking intro classes at 9:30am?!"
MEANWHILE, in Professor Lawrie's office...
"Why do they have to schedule all the fucking intro classes at 9:30am?!" the esteemed professor muttered. She was cradling her head gingerly in her hands, nursing a mother of a hangover, the result of the Board dinner the night before ("Even I can't drink Q under the table, Wolfie, I realize that now..."), and she was in an extremely bad mood. Dean Greywolf was looking on sympathetically; he appeared to be a bit rumpled himself. "I love the kids, they're so deliciously enthusiastic and...naive. But teaching at this time is a bitch..." she broke off in a strangled moan.
[not even attempting Wolf-speak--I am a beginner after all] "At least all yer little buggers will be handing in their compositions on time, my friend--I was over in the student lounge till the wee hours spreadin' good cheer and making sure my special stay-awake brew flowed freely: espresso, jolt, powdered sugar, and a few secret ingredients of my own..." He was grinning, well, wolfishly.
Prof. Lawrie looked up sharply (or as sharply as she could, considering she was having trouble moving her head) "They'd better not *all* turn it in today! You know how testy Auntie Ruth gets if she doesn't have at least a couple of errant freshpeople to teach the error of their ways..."
AT LAST, it's 10:30, and the Foundations class hour is just about over. All aforementioned characters are feeling considerably better.
"...I think that the amount of detail you need in your smut is totally relative, and that the important thing is that you create and maintain a mood. I mean, just think 'I want the person reading this to come' and then go from there."
"Well, that's a very good note on which to end our discussion. Thank you all, it's been a very...stimulating class, as usual. Have a good weekend, and don't forget that Lieutenant B'elanna Torres will be here this weekend giving a lecture on her own experiences incorporating Klingon and Human sexual practices--it should be very interesting and certainly useful to all of you. And I heard that, now that it's canon, she might include a demonstration."
Everyone smiled along with professor Lawrie as they began to file out. They were freshpeople, after all, and their sexual appetites were legendary both in scope and in unrefinement.
"Oh, and ms. russo, can I speak with you please?"
A certain dark-eyed bald girl swallowed nervously. She shakily gathered up her notebooks and headed for the front of the room. The professor fixed her with her best 'stern teacher' look, the one that makes more seasoned students go weak in the knees with lust. Although slightly cheered by her fresh-faced freshpeople, she was still hungover, and she felt like being a little bitchy.
"ms. russo, I don't believe you turned in your assignment, a slash pairing of your choice, single vanilla sex scene, with at least a 1:1 ratio of setup to smut. Is that correct?"
The student fidgeted guiltily.
"Yes, well, um, I was going to email you about that, but I got distracted by the action figures. I'm making really good progress on my J/7, and I'm really excited about it, but I had a big research project due this week for History of TrekSmut, and I just haven't quite had time to finish it. Plus my keyboard keeps malfunctioning. And I really want to do a good job. So I was wondering if I could have an extentio..."
Definitely not in the mood to hear excuses.
"ms. russo, perhaps this kind of thing is acceptable at whatever wussy school it is you come from, but here at TSU, we take our work very seriously, and we expect our students to respect their craft enough to complete their assignments on time. We don't make exceptions to that rule, and any student who doesn't complete his or her work in a timely manner *must* face the punishment."
"I can drop it off at your office tomorrow..."
The student's face had paled visibly, and she looked extremely contrite, and professor Lawrie relented somewhat. She really was a softie at heart.
"Now, don't worry, I know that the first year at TSU is a big adjustment, and this doesn't reflect negatively on you in my opinion." She patted her comfortingly on the arm. "And you'll give your composition to me on Monday--I'm going to be out partying this weekend, and I expect you to be also. But rules are rules, and I can't make an exception just for you."
"Will...will my grade be marked down?" /p>
Professor Lawrie actually threw her head back and laughed, in spite of the hangover.
"Oh no, my dear, that's not the way we do things here. No, you'll have to report to President Gifford. She likes to deal with these cases...personally."
She was amused when the student actually looked relieved.
"Thank you, professor, I promise this won't happen again."
Professor Lawrie just smiled enigmatically.
"Why don't you head over to her office right now, she should still be there."
The student was on her way out the door, but turned when she heard her name:
"And ms. russo...don't bother to bring your clothes."
[p.s. Laura and I actually live in a quad, so if anyone else wants to come live with us in the dorms, feel free. Just send me a copy!]